Simona Kothaj Blog 13 March 2025 Hits: 4

Manipulation techniques of narcissists

Excerpt from the book Never Again, which you can find in our online store.

“Notice that the longer you’ve been in a relationship, the more he hates holidays that aren’t a direct celebration of himself. In addition to the fact that he can’t stand the feeling that everything doesn’t revolve around him, he hates it when people around him selflessly enjoy the happiness of others.

He’s literally overwhelmed by cortisol. Magors produce more of it than the rest of the general population. And since they’re under more stress before the holidays, they produce even more cortisol. That’s why they look so worn out and exhausted during the holidays. The main stress factor during the holidays is their ongoing triangulations.

Since the extended family usually gets together then, they have everyone they usually manipulate separately and don't have time to keep track of what everyone is talking about. That's why they get stressed and paranoid. They're afraid that communicating with the victim of manipulation will expose their triangulation.

As for your holidays, he'll start a conflict a few days in advance so he doesn't have to buy you a gift and get all the attention. If you get a gift, it'll be the one he wanted to give you. Not the one you deserve or want. If you dare to point out that the gift isn't right for you, he'll turn it against you.

He'll attack and you'll be the one who doesn't appreciate anything and is causing the conflict. Sweetheart!

Another manipulation technique is lying. And even completely unnecessary lies that the situation does not require. For example, that he was hanging out the laundry, so he did not hear the phone, and he did not hang up anything and just did not pick it up on purpose. Every single lie is further used for gaslighting. The crazy person often pretends that what happened did not happen and did not say what he said.

By keeping your mind busy by trying to remember who is actually right and whether you are really making up scenarios in your head that did not happen, he directs your attention away from what he does not really want you to find out. It is like with the television news. They say that if every media outlet talks about one thing and tries to inflate it to enormous proportions, they are trying to divert attention from something completely different, completely unrelated to this thing.

This is how, for example, state money is stolen, wars are artificially created, and the population is manipulated. Gaslighting is very often used and one of my favorite manipulation techniques. I have already learned to turn it against it.

Imagine a gas stove turned on. The released gas is you, and the narcissist throws matches at you in the form of seemingly innocent comments, questions, nudges..."